In Flint, Mi there’s a group of “Christians” with picket signs that gather out side of a local abortion clinic. I’d been hearing about this for about a year before I seen it with my own eyes….. I’ve heard that the “Christians” talk to the women who are going inside trying to persuade them to go a different route… One day riding down Flushing Rd I seen a few lawn chairs and ppl with white signs. One in which read “This is murder!”… Quite disturbing.
This is the exact clinic I had my abortion at when I was a senior in High school. I just can’t help but think how it feels to have someone judge you for making one of the hardest decisions of your life a Christian group at that … Abortion is a very real and heavy decision for anyone. Let me walk you through my experience..
At 17 I was in a relationship that was disgustingly cute. We’d make mix cds with love notes on them, spent countless hours on the phone talking about nothing, and overthink all gifts and kind gestures… Ahh teenagers 🤷🏽♀️… One day I began to feel different…. You know like sick in the morning different…Like perfume made me nauseous different…Like too many emotions different…. So I did what any other teenage girl would do, I told my boyfriend. Duh… He right away told his best friend who was just freakishly smarter than us.
My boyfriends best friend decided to come get me out of school (sorry mom) and took me to a local women’s clinic. They did free std screens and pregnancy testing in there …I had that whole “Knees are weak palms are sweaty” nervous thing going on that rapper Eminem mentioned in 8mile but I went in… While feeling judged and like I was being watched I approached the desk and signed in.. “Jordyn Mickens!” Says the lady about ten minutes later.. I get up and go to the back. Things were hella simple, pee on the stick.. that’s what I did. Pee on a freaking stick… Wala ✨ teenage pregnancy ladies and gentlemen…..The lady was nice enough to go over all my options with me and even gave me a bag with some treats, pamphlets and baby supplies in it.
I was 17 year old senior in high school devastated. I thought about prom and my future. I thought about his opportunity at MSU and his future…. In my heart ♥️ I really wanted to keep the child so I also thought of us being parents and married… 🙄 Annoying, I know…. Understand at that age I wanted everything that my imagination could come up with.. No struggle included.
Then as it became time to tell my mom, reality set it. Sheila wasn’t for no games ok? Apart of me knew she’d be disappointed. I was the kid who hated to disappoint my parents…. The time came and I told her. She was very candid about all my options. Also it was clear what she preferred. Though i wanted very much so to keep my baby and live happily ever after my selfless thoughts began, What about college? What if he resents me for keeping the baby? What if I can’t provide for the baby?.. What if we don’t end up married?
My decision had become Abortion. At the time it made sense for us. Him away at the college of his dreams & me getting ready for prom and life outside of grade school… I’d seen plenty of gals who had them at school and they seems just fine. I honestly had no clue what i was signing up for.
The rainy spring break day came & my boyfriend couldn’t be there. Talk about embarrassing… I go to the clinic with my mother and step father present.. I couldn’t tell my dad and hurt him like that. No way, not Jordyn…. I sat in the waiting room along with other women looking to abort their missions as well. One a rape victim and the other a one night stand situation.. I remember feeling super low without the physical support of my then boyfriend. It felt like he didn’t care.. I knew that wasn’t the truth but I couldn’t help what I felt. When they called me up to the window for my blood money I thought to myself “Girl you still have time. LEAVE” but I stayed.. Even when they took me to counsel prior to the procedure I felt I could run out of there and never look back but still… I stayed.. i guess i wanted to keep my word. At the time of the procedure there was a female nurse in there hold my hand as I cried my eyes out and they sucked my baby out of me.. I felt everything, including my heart crushing into a thousand pieces..
When it was over they sat me in this amazingly comfortable recliner with hot tea to ease the physical pain and relaxing music playing to help the mental pain … “You can stay here as long as you like” said that nurse.. I finished off the tea and left. Staying there made me feel worse, i began to hate the smell of the place… I went home, got in my bed and cried the rest of the day…
Over the years I battled with such a void and depression. I struggled with thinking that the slightest bit of gas was pregnancy. I wanted a puppy sooo badly. My rationale was if I had a puppy I could fill the void from aborting the baby. The boyfriend actually got me a small dog. He was a wild little thing and I couldn’t handle him. His efforts were appreciated but the dog had to go.. I continued to struggle with guilt heavily for years. The slightest mention of abortion made me want to shut the world out and hide.
To experience such mental as well as physical pain in my experience & know that other women faced with the decision are bombarded with picketers, breaks my heart. The one thing Christians have to understand is that without love their efforts are void. And there’s no way that love is involved in a gesture that shames women for making a choice that is going to punish them mentally for the rest of their lives.. Due to my experience I’d never recommend Abortion but I also wouldn’t make anyone feel shitty for that choice..
My prayers are with the women in this situation. My prayers are also with those picketers at the clinic in Flint.. Lord have mercy ♥️